photography has always been my main hobby. I own a bunch of cameras (close to 10 I think...) and I almost always have at least one camera on me at all times.
lately I just haven't been feeling it. it seems like I can't take a decent picture to save my life. They all come out horribly over/underexposed, blurry, bad white balance, off center, cut off... I am so frustrated. Going out and shooting a roll of film or some digital pics used to be so relaxing, now I just get so frustrated and upset that it's not even worth my time. I even tried not taking pictures for a few weeks. It didn't help.
Frustrated. I wonder if the unreasonable strife in my life has something to do with it.
05 May 2010
30 April 2010
things that make me go LOL
these came off the strip printer a few mornings ago. Cincy must've been distraught at the loss of their coffee pot :( I cannot sympathize, though, we have to go down 300' to get to the nearest coffee pot!
and today training on Local...
me: SWA174, Indy tower, you ready to go?
SWA174: We're southwest! We're always ready to go!
me: (giggle) (takeoff clearance)
as they're puttering out onto the runway
SWA174: ehh, that's not what his wife says, he's never ready!!!
29 April 2010
even more things!!!
Last Friday it was getting near the end of my shift. I'd wandered up to the tower cause I was bored and I wanted to check if anyone wanted a break before I went home. No one did, but I continued to sit up in the tower and shoot the shit with my coworkers. A few minutes later, an aural alert went off, accompanied by a red EM on the radar scope. We were all like WTF? so my coworker zoomed out on his scope and we saw a target way out of our airspace up near FWA at FL390 squawking 7700 (emergency!). I wasn't working so I went to another scope and watched it (in horror). With each scan, it dropped 4000' to 5000'. In under 3 minutes it had dropped from FL390 to 10,000'. I thought for sure it was going to KEEP descending, and I was feeling a little nauseous at the prospect. When it leveled off at 10,000 I breathed a sigh of relief and guessed there was some sort of pressurization problem. I recalled something from the academy about unpressurized flight only occurring at or below 10,000'. I'm so smart!!
Anyway, a few minutes later the phone rang, the plane was coming here to land (it was a pressurization problem after all). So they made me work ground. It'd been a hot minute since I'd worked an emergency on ground control, probably as far back as when I was still training (October-ish!). So I muddled my way through that, and the plane landed without incident. and I breathed several more sighs of relief.
Almost a week later and I'm still vomiting in my mouth a little thinking about that ridiculous descent rate. Had I been on that plane I'd probably have been barfing everywhere. Guess that's why I'm a controller, not a pilot!
(side note: squawking is a dumb word. it requires way too much concentration to type/spell right.)
hmmm... what else? Nothing, really. Still keeping on keeping on in training. the end may be in sight, but I don't want to jinx myself and end up with 8 MORE months of training :/ my new favorite thing to tell people is that I could've had a baby in the time it's taken me and my 2 RDO-mates to certify.
Also I had a man show up at my door today with a can full of ant-killer. very exciting! no more ants! I even left some food crumbs out while I was at work and NO! NOT ONE ANT! Hooray! :)
Anyway, a few minutes later the phone rang, the plane was coming here to land (it was a pressurization problem after all). So they made me work ground. It'd been a hot minute since I'd worked an emergency on ground control, probably as far back as when I was still training (October-ish!). So I muddled my way through that, and the plane landed without incident. and I breathed several more sighs of relief.
Almost a week later and I'm still vomiting in my mouth a little thinking about that ridiculous descent rate. Had I been on that plane I'd probably have been barfing everywhere. Guess that's why I'm a controller, not a pilot!
(side note: squawking is a dumb word. it requires way too much concentration to type/spell right.)
hmmm... what else? Nothing, really. Still keeping on keeping on in training. the end may be in sight, but I don't want to jinx myself and end up with 8 MORE months of training :/ my new favorite thing to tell people is that I could've had a baby in the time it's taken me and my 2 RDO-mates to certify.
16 April 2010
more things
training is still.... stagnant? at best. We had some pretty freakin busy traffic associated with the NCAA Final Four which I thought I handled splendidly. But I was later informed that the traffic was "too complex" and "ungradeable" and basically counted for nothing even though I was moving metal like someone at the ATL. SPLENDID, like splenda (which may or may not cause tumors).
my apartment is still infested with ants. They will go away for a few days and I will breathe a sigh of relief and think they're gone and come home to thirty billion ants INVOF my sink. Gag. I've pretty much given up eating anything here that requires preparation of any sort so I don't create dirty dishes or crumbs or anything. Ant cups don't work, cinnamon doesn't work, cayenne pepper doesn't work (unless you want reddish brown spots all over your house). Perhaps the orkin man will. I've been hesitant to call because it says in my lease that "Pest control is the financial responsibility of the tenant" ugh. bitch PLZ.
I got to see an F18 today. It was the second time I'd seen one. This one had its afterburner on. It was pretty sexy, haha. And I got to tell someone "Follow the F18 to runway 23 left" which gave me a weird little thrill.
Other than that, everything's pretty much same-old, same-old.
Here are some pics from when I was still in classroom training. One of my instructors has some friends at the "Paper Mill", so we got to go over there and sit in some bizjets.
my apartment is still infested with ants. They will go away for a few days and I will breathe a sigh of relief and think they're gone and come home to thirty billion ants INVOF my sink. Gag. I've pretty much given up eating anything here that requires preparation of any sort so I don't create dirty dishes or crumbs or anything. Ant cups don't work, cinnamon doesn't work, cayenne pepper doesn't work (unless you want reddish brown spots all over your house). Perhaps the orkin man will. I've been hesitant to call because it says in my lease that "Pest control is the financial responsibility of the tenant" ugh. bitch PLZ.
I got to see an F18 today. It was the second time I'd seen one. This one had its afterburner on. It was pretty sexy, haha. And I got to tell someone "Follow the F18 to runway 23 left" which gave me a weird little thrill.
Other than that, everything's pretty much same-old, same-old.
Here are some pics from when I was still in classroom training. One of my instructors has some friends at the "Paper Mill", so we got to go over there and sit in some bizjets.
here I am in a Hawker with LD.
This time you can actually see me!
Here I am with Josh, I think we were in the Citation.
I work up thurrr.
I drew this in class one day. Who needs an expensive DSLR when you've got me around?! :p
and last but not least, HEEEEEEEERE'S KEEEENNNY
Well, I guess that's all for now...
31 March 2010
ANTS and things.
With the warmer weather, several hundred tiny asshole ants have found their way to the 3rd floor to invade my apartment... Which is special, because they appear to be coming out of the wall... not like in the door or through some obvious gaping hole. They are materializing through the wall and making me disgusted.
Training is still sucking. I got about 15 hours this month... Horrible. :(
I went to Chicago in the middle of the month for a few days. It was pretty enjoyable, except for the needle rain and getting lost on the bus.
Here are some pics from the past few weeks.
Training is still sucking. I got about 15 hours this month... Horrible. :(
I went to Chicago in the middle of the month for a few days. It was pretty enjoyable, except for the needle rain and getting lost on the bus.
Here are some pics from the past few weeks.
at a bus stop somewhere in Chicago
some penguins at Shedd Aquarium
John Hancock Center obscured by the needle rain
LOOK! My veins! (yes, I know I put my left hand on top of the right hand outline. YOU try taking a digital pic left handed! haha)
more pics to come!
01 March 2010
Frustrated.
I have now been at my facility 8 months. I am about one month shy of being off probation, and I cannot wait. I am sick of walking on eggshells at work, trying not to swear, not to step on anyone's toes, not to sleep through alarms and be late to work (I've cut back from three alarms in the morning to just one).
In October, our Union negotiated a new contract (the Crimson Book), restoring pay to 2006 levels by 2012. So our pay lags 6 years behind where it should be if it weren't for the White Book. Not a huge deal, I'm happy to be making what I am (and will be) making.
What bothers me is that part of that contract included a part about developmentals bidding days off by seniority. At my facility, they gang-hired people like crazy. There are 21 developmentals and 30 FPLs. They brought 4 other people on board the same time as me. Therefore, there are 5 of us with the same seniority. And naturally, we're all training on the same thing. Before this new contract came out, we were all spread out on different days off. We never had to compete for training time, at least not like we do now.
Also, since we're lowest on the seniority totem pole, we all got moved to Tuesday/Wednesdays off. Now, I don't really care what days off I have as long as I have at least 2 in a row, but T/W is the absolute WORST set of days off for training. There's only enough traffic on Thursday/Friday nights to train on, and splitting an 8 hour shift up for 3-5 people to train results in about an hour of training. Saturdays and Sundays my coworker and I have taken to cooking breakfast for everyone at work and also a good deal of movie-watching happens. We work about 45 minutes, then get an hour or more off. Today I had the last 2 hours of my shift off. Mondays are pretty hit or miss as far as training goes. Some Mondays are super busy, while others are as bad as weekend days.
I came from Sunday/Monday off, and I know most people are like "oh yeah, no wonder you're pissed, you don't have weekends off anymore". Frankly, I could care less about that. Sunday/Monday is the second best set of days off for training, there is always a lot of traffic, no matter what day it is. When I was on that set of days off, I led the facility in training hours, with about 50hrs/month of steady traffic. (Last month I had about 20 hours of training on very light traffic.) Not to mention, there was a much greater volume of traffic and other shit to deal with (helicopters, pipeline aircraft, VFRs, etc). It was all around just a better opportunity. We bid our schedules mid-December, effective January 1, 2010. My trainer begged and pleaded for me to stay on Su/Mo off for only 2 more weeks to get me checked out by around mid-Jan. Management would have none of that.
I was pretty set in my ways after logging 80 hours with the same trainer prior to Jan 1st, and to go to this new guy who trains me about an hour a week was a huge change, and now after having about 10-15 different trainers, I'm thoroughly confused! I know how I want to do things, but when you're in training, you have to please your trainer. If they want you to read the pilot the whole goddamn weather sequence along with their landing clearance, you better do it or else. If they want me to say "Indy Tower, wind 030 at 12, runway 23 R, turn left heading 210, cleared for takeoff" I better not say "Indy Tower, Runway 23R, wind 030 at 12, turn left heading 210, cleared for takeoff" or there will be hell to pay, a scathing training report, and I will be ratted out for not using THEIR phraseology. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
So here I am, still slaving away at training with a trainer who doesn't seem to like me a whole hell of a lot. He calls me stupid, says I'm never gonna make it... Just doesn't have a whole lot of nice things to say about me in general. He never wants to train, so I'm always stuck training with a different random person every day who invariably tells me to do shit that contradicts what the last person told me to do. I try to hit gaps with one trainer and have a plane at 180 kts on a 4 mile final and they'll be like NO ITS TOO TIGHT!!! but the next day I will be training with someone else and have a plane at 180kts on 4 mile final again and I will remember my last trainer telling me NOT to do it, so I don't. Then that trainer will be like "you should've hit that gap". arghhhhhhh.
So basically, I train with this guy about 2 hours a week, sometimes a little more. I always fuck up some little thing and he immediately gets on my case about not being smart enough, how I'm gonna wash out, blah blah blah. I don't know if he is being a dick, or if he's trying to motivate me. Hint: telling me I'm gonna lose my job is not a good motivator. Telling me "good job" when I do a good job instead of just acting indifferent towards me is a good motivator.
It's just really disheartening to me. 2 months ago my first trainer was all ready to check me out. Now this guy seems ready to wash me out because sometimes I tell someone to turn left off the runway when I really mean right. Sometimes I tell someone "clear to land" when they're holding in position... I always catch my mistakes and correct them, though. I am not unsafe. I am not slow. I don't even ask questions anymore (that's a BIG deal, I was always second guessing myself, and I stopped doing that). I've even schooled him a few times on some things. None of that is good enough. I have to be PERFECT.
I just can't vomit out enough words into this little box to convey how frustrated/irritated/sad/disheartened/upset I am with this whole situation. I am not a dumb person, I don't like being called dumb, and I don't like being held back from things that I know I can do. I know I won't ever be perfect, no one is, but I think I'm good enough to handle working on my own.
In October, our Union negotiated a new contract (the Crimson Book), restoring pay to 2006 levels by 2012. So our pay lags 6 years behind where it should be if it weren't for the White Book. Not a huge deal, I'm happy to be making what I am (and will be) making.
What bothers me is that part of that contract included a part about developmentals bidding days off by seniority. At my facility, they gang-hired people like crazy. There are 21 developmentals and 30 FPLs. They brought 4 other people on board the same time as me. Therefore, there are 5 of us with the same seniority. And naturally, we're all training on the same thing. Before this new contract came out, we were all spread out on different days off. We never had to compete for training time, at least not like we do now.
Also, since we're lowest on the seniority totem pole, we all got moved to Tuesday/Wednesdays off. Now, I don't really care what days off I have as long as I have at least 2 in a row, but T/W is the absolute WORST set of days off for training. There's only enough traffic on Thursday/Friday nights to train on, and splitting an 8 hour shift up for 3-5 people to train results in about an hour of training. Saturdays and Sundays my coworker and I have taken to cooking breakfast for everyone at work and also a good deal of movie-watching happens. We work about 45 minutes, then get an hour or more off. Today I had the last 2 hours of my shift off. Mondays are pretty hit or miss as far as training goes. Some Mondays are super busy, while others are as bad as weekend days.
I came from Sunday/Monday off, and I know most people are like "oh yeah, no wonder you're pissed, you don't have weekends off anymore". Frankly, I could care less about that. Sunday/Monday is the second best set of days off for training, there is always a lot of traffic, no matter what day it is. When I was on that set of days off, I led the facility in training hours, with about 50hrs/month of steady traffic. (Last month I had about 20 hours of training on very light traffic.) Not to mention, there was a much greater volume of traffic and other shit to deal with (helicopters, pipeline aircraft, VFRs, etc). It was all around just a better opportunity. We bid our schedules mid-December, effective January 1, 2010. My trainer begged and pleaded for me to stay on Su/Mo off for only 2 more weeks to get me checked out by around mid-Jan. Management would have none of that.
I was pretty set in my ways after logging 80 hours with the same trainer prior to Jan 1st, and to go to this new guy who trains me about an hour a week was a huge change, and now after having about 10-15 different trainers, I'm thoroughly confused! I know how I want to do things, but when you're in training, you have to please your trainer. If they want you to read the pilot the whole goddamn weather sequence along with their landing clearance, you better do it or else. If they want me to say "Indy Tower, wind 030 at 12, runway 23 R, turn left heading 210, cleared for takeoff" I better not say "Indy Tower, Runway 23R, wind 030 at 12, turn left heading 210, cleared for takeoff" or there will be hell to pay, a scathing training report, and I will be ratted out for not using THEIR phraseology. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
So here I am, still slaving away at training with a trainer who doesn't seem to like me a whole hell of a lot. He calls me stupid, says I'm never gonna make it... Just doesn't have a whole lot of nice things to say about me in general. He never wants to train, so I'm always stuck training with a different random person every day who invariably tells me to do shit that contradicts what the last person told me to do. I try to hit gaps with one trainer and have a plane at 180 kts on a 4 mile final and they'll be like NO ITS TOO TIGHT!!! but the next day I will be training with someone else and have a plane at 180kts on 4 mile final again and I will remember my last trainer telling me NOT to do it, so I don't. Then that trainer will be like "you should've hit that gap". arghhhhhhh.
So basically, I train with this guy about 2 hours a week, sometimes a little more. I always fuck up some little thing and he immediately gets on my case about not being smart enough, how I'm gonna wash out, blah blah blah. I don't know if he is being a dick, or if he's trying to motivate me. Hint: telling me I'm gonna lose my job is not a good motivator. Telling me "good job" when I do a good job instead of just acting indifferent towards me is a good motivator.
It's just really disheartening to me. 2 months ago my first trainer was all ready to check me out. Now this guy seems ready to wash me out because sometimes I tell someone to turn left off the runway when I really mean right. Sometimes I tell someone "clear to land" when they're holding in position... I always catch my mistakes and correct them, though. I am not unsafe. I am not slow. I don't even ask questions anymore (that's a BIG deal, I was always second guessing myself, and I stopped doing that). I've even schooled him a few times on some things. None of that is good enough. I have to be PERFECT.
I just can't vomit out enough words into this little box to convey how frustrated/irritated/sad/disheartened/upset I am with this whole situation. I am not a dumb person, I don't like being called dumb, and I don't like being held back from things that I know I can do. I know I won't ever be perfect, no one is, but I think I'm good enough to handle working on my own.
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